week 18

Alhamdulillah sudah 18minggu usia kandungan saya, selepas kejadian muntah2 & cirit birit @ week 16 tu, ai started to worried about my baby inside... alah siapa yang kenal ai tentu tau yang ai have pregnancy fobia.
pengalaman keguguran 2 kali benar2 menbuat saya fobia, yes ai tak serik untuk being pregnant but ai do scared on my baby health inside. I knew only GOD can protect him but as a mom kita kena jaga pemakanan & tindakan kita diluar sini. Segalanya adalah ketentuanNYA. Namun perasaan resah & bimbang tu sukar untuk di sisihkan selagi tak tengok baby ni lahir dengan sihat & sempurna.

So bila dapat merasai tendangan bayi dari dalam, alangkah bahagianya hati ni, selalu time saya bersantai, akan ku usap perut ni untuk merasai tendangan halus & lembut dari dalam. Hubby pun selalu tanya, have you feel the kicking? I wish I can feel it too
Yes, still soft dear, the baby still small. Itulah yang selalu menjadi perbualan kami.
I knew my hubby oso worried but he will never show it to me. He must be the hero, for me to be always strong.
Owh I really can't wait to visit my gyne next monday. Perasaan ni macam kita baking cake, so excited, while waiting the cake is ready, kita akan sentiasa intai kek tu dari cermin oven, dah naik ke? merekah ke kek tu?
Ha macam tu la... kalau la boleh scan baby tiap2 minggu, ako lah orang yang akan beratur untuk scan macam tu. Tak perlu 4D scan, cukup lah hanya untuk memastikan baby dalam tu sihat & selamat.

Malam tadi tanpa di duga, ai have nightmare dream. I dream I had misscarrige at my hometown. Its like this week, sebab dalam mimpi tu i m so sad sebab lg 1 minggu nak jumpa gyne. I kata kenapalah mesti jumpa gyne 1 bulan sekali, is too long sampai ai dah keguguran. Baby tu masih kecil, macam cicak lagi... macam bunga yang baru nak berkembang... huhuhu
so sad sebab sudah 4bulan & semua orang dah tau yang i m pregnant and the most sad is i m now preparing stuff for new born. :(
But.... its juat a dream.
Bangun pagi2 i told hubby i got nightmare, hubby said, just think about good thing, its just a dream.
I wonder, how he know about my dream, sekali lagi dalam kereta tadi odw to work, ai ask him, do u know what i dream of?
Then he ask me to share.... pastu hubby said, trust in GOD, trust baby inside is healthy, only healthy & perfect baby will born. Just forget about your dream. I knew you have fobia during pregnancy. But trust in GOD.

Baiklah, mommy akan cuba melupakan mimpi buruk tu, pray baby dalam ni sihat, Alhamdulillah pagi ni pun dah byk kali jugak merasai tendangan soft baby ni. YA ALLAH tabahkan lah hatiku, peliharalah baby di dalam ni, semoga dia sihat & sempurna YA ALLAH.

Doc Bedi, I can't wait to see you next monday, hope can see baby gender too supaya I knew which fabric colour to buy for my quilt project :P hehehe